I look at your picture. I desperately try to remember the sound of your voice, I just remember loving it. I try to remember your laugh; I just remember it was contagious. I try to remember your smile I just remember people telling me mine looked like yours. I want to see you. I want you to pick me up and swing me around. I want you to come home from work and I want to run down the hall way and jump into your strong open arms. I want my hand to feel small in yours. I want to hear you tell me mom and tuck how much you love us. I want you to pick me up at school. I want you to come home. I want you to play softball with me in the back yard. I want you catch me when I jump into the pool. I want you to take me to a baseball game. I want you to intimidate my boyfriends. I want you to walk me down the isle. I thought bad things only happened to bad people. I guess not. Im pretty sure I didn’t do anything to deserve this big of a whole in my heart. I still struggle with the idea that I will really never see you again. All I have left is pictures, family videos and the distant memories of what everyone tells me is the best person they ever knew. Am I really that kid missing a parent? I am I that kid that doesn’t have a dad? Yes that’s me.
